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Me Tarzan, You Jane! Huh? No? Not? Why Not?

Never mind that, hey, let’s change the subject. Frank, how about this; do you think you would be happy if you were able to buy the ability to live forever? What? Live forever? You can’t buy that, Janie. Where the hell did that drop into you from? It’s a question. ...

How to Wake the Dogs

Here’s how to beat this here syndrome. Veils and veils of crisscrossing diaphanous vocal chords seem red and raw parts of the bargain. Stomach acid. Color. Nodule. Kill all the Rivers. Gone is that side of the road all of a sudden; fill the can with small nails and shake ...

Who Invented the Fucking Coat Pocket?

Who invented the fucking coat pocket? That was where this mess all started. If this had never been invented, he knew, he would not have this issue. Clothing makes the man they say. Why made up that saying? Next, who convinced the world that this was a true statement not ...

From Pack My Box with Five Dozen Liquor Jugs, a pangrammic novel by Tom Jenks & Catherine Vidler

H. ‘How did it even hear me?’ mouthed a petrified Wexford to Zlatan, whose knees were quite justifiably knocking together like coconut shells. ‘This must be the famous cassowary,’ squeaked Zlatan, spooked, ‘the extrasensory jungle bird I saw on the Discovery Channel.’ ‘Well, obviously, Zlatan,’ ‘squeaked’ the sequinned creature, jadedly, ...

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